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Hi
Everyone,
Thank
you so much for your patience, as these newsletters have been sparse over
the summer. I apologize for that
and plan to increase publication so we are back to our normal
distribution schedule as soon as possible.
As
we enter the fall/winter seasons, I wanted to focus today’s newsletter on
self-esteem. This topic is near
& dear to my heart, as I have had low self-esteem most of my life
(until HEALS™ that is). As many of
you know, I went through an emotionally abusive marriage, which certainly
didn’t help my already low self-esteem.
But, as I focused my efforts on the HEALS™ process of emotional
regulation, I found that my self-esteem began to improve and I felt a
healthy sense of self for the first time in my life. Once I developed a healthy self-esteem
& had something to compare it too, I realized that much of my “surface”
self-esteem was not real. I was not only fooling others at times, but
fooling myself as well. That often
happens under the stress of conflict or abuse: We develop a “false
self-esteem” that keeps us going.
Because
low self-esteem can sometimes "fly under the radar" due to this
“false self-esteem”, let’s examine the differences between low
self-esteem and genuine self-esteem:
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Healthy Self-esteem
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Low/inflated/inauthentic
Self-esteem
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Shows a caring attitude towards others.
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Shows a critical attitude towards others.
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Is humble.
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Is arrogant or groveling.
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Respects authority and is comfortable with
authority.
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Rebels against authority or feels extremely
insecure.
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Sticks to his/her conviction.
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Goes along to get along.
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Confident.
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Confused or brazen.
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Assertive.
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Aggressive, arrogant, contemptuous or overly
passive.
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Achievement oriented
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Appearance oriented.
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Optimistic and willing to take risks.
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Fatalistic and afraid of risks, or takes unnecessary
risks.
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Sensitive
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Touchy and defensive
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Discusses differences
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Argues over differences or quietly accepts what is
told.
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Shows agreeable levels of self-acceptance and
self-respect.
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Always trying to prove their worth. Poor self-image.
Often in denial.
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Blames others for their emotions & behaviors
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Takes responsibility for their emotions &
behaviors
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Gets angry often or becomes “explosive” over
seemingly minor events
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Able to regulate emotions – doesn’t get angry often
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Do
you see yourself on this list?
Chances are, you find traits in each
column that describe you at times.
That’s pretty common.
However, if you find that you tend to have more traits that fall
in the “false” self-esteem column, no worries – HEALS™ is here to help!
Because I’ve experienced
such a positive change in my own self-esteem due to the
work I’ve done with HEALS™, & because I see low self-esteem
as a widespread issue in the world today, I’ve decided
to focus a portion of my Core Value business on improving
self esteem. In that light, I’ve produced a webinar (online (or "web") seminar) which
focuses on building self esteem with Core Value &
HEALS™. You can access this webinar from www.selfesteembootcamp.com
or from www.yourcorevalue.com.
Core Value & HEALS™
is so universally applicable, I plan on releasing future webinars which focus on specific issues which can be
helped with the HEALS™ technique of emotional regulation. If there’s a specific topic of interest
to you, please feel free to let me know.
I’d love to hear your feedback!
In the mean-time,
remember to treat yourself with the same respect & compassion that
you would give to someone you love.
You deserve it!
Valuable Resources:
"Boot
Camp Basics: Everything You Need to Conquer Low Self Esteem" by Mary
Anderson and Steven Stosny, Ph.D.
"How to Improve Your Marriage Without
Talking About It: Finding Love Beyond Words" by Patricia
Love, Ed.D and Steven Stosny, Ph.D
"You Don't Have to Take it Anymore: Turn
Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship into a
Compassionate, Loving One" by Steven Stosny, PhD.
"Manual of the Core Value Workshop" by
Steven Stosny, PhD.
CORE Value,
Inc. provides personal and corporate training about reconnecting with
core value and learning
emotional regulation, empowering you in both your work and home life to
live without anger and resentment and with a strong sense of self.
For information about the services we
provide, visit our website: www.yourcorevalue.com.
All materials of CORE Value,
Inc. are based on the work of Dr. Steven Stosny of www.compassionpower.com.
CORE Value,
Inc will never resell email addresses, and will only send newsletters to
prior clients and those who have opted to receive them. To opt out of receiving these
newsletters, simply email: optout@yourcorevalue.com
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